Your Relationship is an Orchid, not a Cactus!

cactusflower

You want a loving relationship.

Are you willing to do what it takes?

A relationship doesn’t bloom without the proper care.

It’s like a beautiful flowering plant. You have to know what kind of light it needs, how much to water it, and what kind of plant food is best. You have to know how to deal with bugs or mold, and how to get it through bad weather. Without the right care, it will wither up and die.

Are you willing to learn how to become an excellent relationship gardener?

If the answer is yes, there is good news!

The research on couples and what makes marriage work is solid. It tells us what is needed and, just like anything else you set your mind to, it can be learned.

You can learn to be a good musician. You can learn to become a decent dancer. You can learn to be a great cook. You can learn to be an excellent partner.

The other news—the news you may like less–is this:

You have to want to. You have to really want to. Not a half-hearted “I’ll change when you change” kind of wanting to. Not an “Okay, but shouldn’t relationships be easy?” kind of wanting to.

No. What’s needed is a “no holds barred” wanting to that says, “This person is so important to me that I’m going to do everything I possibly can to learn how to be the best partner I can be—including learning about my blind spots. I’m going to go outside my comfort zone, because I’m all in!!!!”

When you work with me, you are each making a commitment to changing and growing. Changing and growing is uncomfortable, but there are big pay-offs! You will feel more secure and find joy and comfort in ways that will make your life oh-so-much better.

Look at it this way. If you decide you need to get fit and you hire a trainer to teach you what you need to do to get there, you wouldn’t expect to show up at the training sessions once a week and expect something to change. If the trainer says, “You have to do x many reps of this exercise five times a week,” then you do them. If you don’t, change doesn’t happen.

The same goes for improving your relationship. You’ve got to put your all into it. You have to be committed to learning and applying the skills I teach you.

If this sounds like you, email at jill@positivecouples.com or call me at 603-558-1550 to set up a complimentary 30 minute meet and greet conversation.